Many activities in life bring you down or build you up. Life can change in a matter of minute or even seconds. The real question is you ready to handle what comes your way? Situations have made me stronger; the things thought I would never get over actually turned out to make me stronger and a better person. All the faults in my path made me a great person. My family you could say is a big part of my strength. They are a big unit that keeps me working toward my goal every day. When I get depressed or feeling like I can’t go on I know I can call my family and be able to get right back on track to complete my goal. You could say that what I believe in is strength.
I believe my strength is the greatest thing I have going for me. I’m not sure you understand what it is to be an athlete and an athletic trainer at he same time. That is no joke it is a full time job. I go to practice than class and when I get back from class I am off again to clinical rotations. I have hard days almost every week wanting to quit and just go to sleep. I dig deep inside myself and know that I have the power to continue the days and see the great game days or many beautiful days. My friends are sometimes apart of my strength and the reason why I question it. Moving down to Florida was a strength all on its own and living in a beautiful country Greece. Yes for sure it is very hard but I know I can do and be the things I want to be and that are strength in confidence.
Of course that is just touching the surface of why I believe so strongly in my strength. I have been brought down to the deepest bottom of the bottle. I have felt that I could not get out of bed. I had a near death experience. When I was snowboarding two years ago I went off the jump and did a 360 in the air. The only problem is that I over rotated in that 360 and went off the slope over a rock and into a tree. I had instantaneous internal bleeding and thought I was paralyzed. I couldn’t move for 2 months. I thought I was down with sports and life. I gained movement in my body and realized that I wasn’t going to let that happen to me. Slowly I started moving more and more than I was back playing sports so I was back to normal. My strength was the only thing that got me through the hard times! That why I believe in it
When I was younger I depended on my family. Now I realized that all I need is myself my strength got me to where I am today and I know that whenever I am down I can just depend on myself. It is the only thing I have to get me from one day to the next
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2 comments:
I think that you expressed your belief in strength very well. I really liked your 3rd paragraph about your own personal experience, it is inspirational. Its organized pretty good, I can tell why you put what you did in each paragraph and why you ended and began each paragraph. My main suggestion for you is to carefully reread your essay over a few more times. I found many tiny errors you probably didn't even notice you made while writing that sort of confused me while reading. Just little thing such as forgetting to add words like (a, and, the are, to, etc.) can make a big difference in the flow of your essay. Also, some of your sentences are unclear to me for example ("Moving down to Florida was a strength all on its own and living in a beautiful country Greece.") Was living in Greece a strength to, or moving from florida TO Greece was a strength? You could even turn some sentences around to sound a little better for exampel ("My family you could say is a big part of my strength.") You could switch to "You could say my most important part of my strength is my family." These are just some suggestions. Overall i enjoyed reading your essay. :)
This essay starts slow but becomes more focused and specific as it progresses. The difficult thing about choosing to write about something like your own strength is that the tone can be off-putting for some readers. Telling readers that you're "not sure you understand what it is to be an athlete and an athletic trainer at the same time" will seem a bit pretentious to readers. Think of how many readers of the essays on the This I Believe web site would consider going to college to itself be a luxury. Instead of focusing on how difficult your own life is, readers will appreciate being helped to understand how your belief affects your life and your world view.
There are several lines here that never get developed. Comments about strength and family, for instance, are not a significant part of your essay and seem contradictory (early on you say family is a big part of your strength; at the end, you say your strength is yours alone).
Consider how you can depersonalize or generalize your belief in some way so that your insights are not merely about how strong a person you are, but presented so that it can help readers understand strength in their own lives as well. Your essay needs to, as the text book says, pass the "So what?" test. If it's just you talking about yourself, rather than talking to your audience, readers aren't going to care enough to finish reading even an essay as short as this one.
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